Ark

Ark

"I fucking hate FL Studio."
Title	Beat Maker
Species	Dragon/Tiger (Hybrid)
Created	May 2025
Abilities/Skill set	Fire magic
Relationship	none known

Ark, also known by their full name as ArkTheDerg, is a dragon-tiger hybrid furry, server member of Rano's Star Observatory, record producer, beat maker, Fortnite sweat, and deer killer. Until early 2025, Ark was a honorary member of the Secret Deer Society of the Star Observatory but was exiled after sneezing fire on Sir Frederick Frolic III. in the self-serve jelly area of the Deer Temple Convention Centre, turning him into ashes.

Musical career

Ark uploads his music to a SoundCloud profile under the alias Ark² and Ark (UNDERTALE ARCHIVE). His style of music reminds listeners of the 2015 indie hit game, Undertale, as well as cinematic scores with a clear influence of orchestral pieces. When he is not making games is this genre, he also dabbles in other music genres of all sorts. He is also capable of playing the guitar.

Exile from the Secret Deer Society

Ark was, until February 16, 2025, an honorary member of the Secret Deer Society—an elite and mysteriously whimsical order within the Star Observatory known for its reverent love of deer-related affairs, cryptic rituals, and an aggressively organized annual Jelly Potluck Summit. Though not a deer himself, Ark was inducted into the Society in January 2025 after impressing the Council with his charisma, glowing reviews from the Canine Guild, and an outstanding ability to recite the Entire Deer Pledge of Unity backward.

His tenure was notable, fiery, and ultimately brief.

The Incident

On February 11, 2025, during the opening ceremony of the Deer Temple Convention Centre's annual self-serve jelly social, tragedy struck. While reaching for a particularly wobbly container of ceremonial apricot jelly, Ark reportedly sneezed—a minor inconvenience for most, but a catastrophic event for a dragon whose nasal reflex involves spontaneous combustion.

Witnesses described the moment as "a cross between a sneeze, a flamethrower, and a war crime in a candy store."

The unfortunate victim was Sir Frederick Frolic III, a long-standing and deeply beloved deer noble who had just finished delivering a speech about jelly etiquette. He was instantly turned to a dignified pile of ash, leaving behind only his monocle, antler rings, and a faint scent of caramelized ambition.

Police Investigation

The incineration of Sir Frederick Frolic III presented local authorities with an unprecedented legal dilemma. While multiple witnesses, a partially melted monocle, and a haunting smell of scorched deer fur all pointed to Ark as the culprit, no physical body remained at the scene. This, according to the Temple District Police Department, made pressing formal charges surprisingly difficult.

“We can’t charge someone for murder,” said Detective Clove Bramble, “if there’s no actual corpse. All we have is a pile of what could be ashes, or possibly burnt toast. Forensic testing was inconclusive.”

The official police report lists the cause of death as “alleged spontaneous combustion.”

With no legal precedent for "sneeze-based vaporization" and no tangible remains to autopsy, the authorities were forced to drop all charges. Ark was instead issued a strongly worded scroll of caution, a deer citation for “reckless respiratory behavior,” and a stern talking-to by the chief of the local fire department, who described the incident as “deeply irresponsible, but kind of impressive.”

Policy Reforms and Safety Measures

The fiery downfall of Sir Frederick Frolic III triggered a swift and somewhat dramatic response from the Deer Temple Convention Centre and associated governing bodies. Within days, a Jelly Safety & Response Task Force was formed, consisting of fire mages, architects, overreacting bureaucrats, and one emotionally scarred dessert caterer.

The result was the Emergency Combustion Preparedness Initiative (ECPI), a sweeping policy overhaul designed to prevent future "spontaneous guest flambé situations." Among the most notable implementations:

• Fire-Retardant Shields: All jelly buffet stations are now surrounded by enchanted, transparent domes capable of withstanding up to Level 6 Magic. These shields come equipped with small serving hatches and sneeze-detection charms that emit a polite but firm "Bless you, please back away."
• Flame-Nullification Runes: Convention halls were fitted with rune matrices capable of instantly dispelling fire-based magic within a 12-foot radius. Unfortunately, during beta testing, these runes also deactivated all scented candles and one extremely passionate fire juggler.
• Emergency Goo Dousing Buckets: Strategically placed across event spaces, these enchanted buckets release a flood of neutralizing goo when triggered by heat or high-velocity nasal activity. A trial demonstration in March 2025 led to a mild flood and two stuck flautists.

• Mandatory Fire Etiquette Briefing: All visitors to the Deer Temple Convention Centre must now attend a short animated safety presentation entitled “A Dragon's Sneeze Is Not Just Theirs: A Communal Responsibility.” Narrated by a disappointed ghost version of Sir Frederick Frolic III, the video is both educational and guilt-inducing.

These reforms have been widely praised for their effectiveness—though some critics argue the jelly now “tastes a little too safe.” Regardless, there have been zero fiery incidents reported since Ark’s misfire, and convention attendance has rebounded amid cautious optimism and slightly dampened desserts.

Aftermath and Exile

In the immediate aftermath, a panicked 3-minute silence was held, followed by a very somber kazoo dirge. Ark attempted to apologize but was promptly voted into exile by the Deer Council in a 9–1 decision (the single dissenting vote was from Aster who was distracted by a strawberry-glazed trifle and claims to this day he "didn't hear the motion").

Ark was escorted out of the Temple by ceremonial guards and formally removed from the Secret Deer Society Scroll of Almost Trusted. His honorary antler badge was melted down and repurposed as a commemorative butter knife.