Selm
| |
| Individuals.. | |
| Title | Cheeto Dog |
|---|---|
| Species | Vizsla |
| Created | March 2024 |
| Abilities/Skill set | none known |
| Relationship | dating Rano Sterling |
Selm Sterling, also known as Selm, is an orange Vizsla dog from Rano's Star Observatory. He is the father of Aru Sterling and the boyfriend of Rano Sterling.
Selm The Cheeto Dog (fursona)
Selm The Cheeto Dog is a canine character showing a bold, retro-inspired aesthetic. His design, drenched in neon colors and sunset gradients, evokes the spirit of 1980s vaporwave and synthwave art styles.
Selm has a warm, burnt-orange fur coat complemented by vibrant sky-blue markings and deep brown accents, which form a three-tone palette. He has tufts of longer fur along his cheeks, chest, and tail, giving him a scruffy charm. His inner ears and paw pads are light blue, a bright contrast against the deeper body tones. Selm has large, expressive eyes, a blue mark stretches from his muzzle down to his chest floof, which resembles a stylized, jagged splash. His tail is fluffy, long, and slightly exaggerated, contributing to his fluffy appeal.
He is often seen wearing a red scarf.
2024 Cheeto Incident
Guided tour at the Cheeto factory
On April 14, 2024, Selm was enjoying a wholesome, educational guided tour of the FritoLay snack factory, accompanied by a group of influencers, middle schoolers, and a surprisingly chill chaperone. According to the official report (and a highly-circulated animated re-enactment), Selm became separated from the tour group during the “Extrusion Hall” segment.
While attempting to retrieve a dropped corn puff sample (or possibly chasing his own tail—accounts vary), Selm slipped on a dangerously slick patch of powdered cheddar, tumbling directly into an active Cheeto press. Emergency protocols were loosely followed. Selm emerged moments later—perfectly intact—but now entirely infused with cheesy essence. He glowed orange, crunched slightly when he moved, and left behind pawprints that doubled as seasoning.
Law suit (2024–2025)
After recovering (and being lightly dusted off with a leaf blower), Selm filed a lawsuit against FritoLay for $US7,000, citing:
- Emotional trauma
- Loss of fur pigmentation
- The inability to sit on any white furniture ever again
- Permanent attraction from hungry birds and stoners
Despite the very modest amount demanded (experts speculate he was too polite to ask for more), FritoLay declined to pay in cash. Instead, they offered him a voucher for a lifetime supply of Cheetos, covering all varieties including Flamin’ Hot, White Cheddar Puffs, and the elusive “Spicy Ghost Crunch” only found in gas stations after midnight.
Selm, confused but hungry, accepted.
Current life (2025–present)
Selm now lives comfortably as a public figure, snack safety advocate, and minor cryptid. He continues to attend factory tours—this time with a helmet—and regularly guest-stars in viral TikToks and snack-tier list videos. He is banned from most laundromats.
Fans of Selm often dress as him at conventions using copious body paint and spray cheese. His fans' catchphrase, “It was a guided tour...” has been immortalized on merch, stickers, and a regrettable dubstep remix on YouTube.